2021년 봄학기 Writing Club 9주 수업을 마치면서, 기말 에세이 시험을 치뤘습니다. 그 가운데 가장 높은 점수를 받은 네명 학생의 글을 공개합니다. 평가 Rubric은 총 5개 영역이며 (Focus, Contents, Style, Organization, and Conventions) 아래 학생들은 모든 영역에서 높은 점수를 받았습니다. 후배들에게 참고할 만한 샘플이 되길 바랍니다. 주제는 "나에게 영향을 준 교사입니다.
An Influential Teacher
Teachers have been around ever since humans arrived. Some teachers were more influential than others. However, not all good teachers are famous. Teachers don’t have to be from your school, they can be anywhere. One really influential teacher in my life is my school friend Skylar. He is very influential because I got to be real close to him, he taught me several things about my hobby, and he also showed me things related to schoolwork.
When you think of teachers, you might think of a professor or a school teacher. However, friends have taught me a huge part of what I know. Skylar is a teacher that was close to me, so I could rely on him. We also learned together, and I knew that he was just trying to help whenever he criticized me. When you trust your teacher, learning becomes a lot easier. )
Another part of what made him influential is what he taught me. He taught me several soccer tricks and ways that I can improve. I played on the same soccer team as Skylar, and this let me learn through observing. He also pushed me to work harder whenever I was slacking, but it really helped me learn more about my hobby. Learning with someone can sometimes be a great way to grow because it lets you see your own mistakes, but it also lets you see others’. I still kind of think of Skylar as a coach and a teammate as well as a friend.
The last big impact he had on me was mentally. Skylar and I often did homework together(though not anymore because of the pandemic), and I got to see his way of thinking. He showed me how his brain ticks, and I got to share how I think. He showed me new ways to work out problems, but he also showed me his creativity. Skylar and I have been working on a book, and we love to write when we have spare time. He often finds a way to continue when I’m stuck, and seeing that helps me find creative solutions to other things.
I’ve learned through Skylar that friends can be the greatest teacher. Skylar helped me learn and grow by being a close friend while helping me improve in my hobby, as well as making my brain explode with new ways of thinking. I now know that friends are why I am here today.Copyright@2021 By Chanyul Kim
Do not copy, duplicate or reproduce this material in any way without the author’s consent. 교사평가 Focus: Advanced: Consistently establishes and maintains a clear purpose and point of view. The writing is clear and completely answers all parts of the prompt. : 주제를 온전히 이해하고 있으며 글의 목적이 분명하고, 관점도 일관적이다.
Content: Proficient : Substantial development of ideas and details that are related to the topic. Each point of T.S. has supporting details. Organization: Advanced: Highly effective introduction with an interesting hook, connecting between the hook and T.S. & 3-point thesis statement (T.S.)3 body paragraphs related to T.S. Logical and appropriate transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs. A comprehensive conclusion that powerfully summarizes the main points. (restatement of T.S.) 손색없는 서론 (흥미로운 도입, 주제문과 도입을 잇는 배경 혹은 연결 문장, 3포인트가 있는 주제문)을 갖추었고, 3개의 본론 문단 하나 하나가 주제문의 3포인트에 대해서 기술하고 있으며, 논리적인 흐름과 더불어 연결어(transitions)를 효과적으로 사용하고 있다. 결론에서 종합적인 맺음을 내리면서 논지를 다시한번 효과적으로 환기시키고 있다.
Style: Advanced: Highly effective sentence variety: the beginnings of sentences are varied and sentences vary in structure. Precise, illustrative vivid word choice (e.i., good-->beneficial, get there-->arrived, house-->cottage) Consistent writer’s voice and tone to appropriate audience. 다양한 문장의 구조를 구사할줄 알고, 문장의 시작 부분도 다채롭다. 분명하고 정확하 용어를 구사하고 모호한 표현이 없다. 자신의 독자를 파악하고 있기에 글쓰는이의 글의 톤이나 목소리가 독자에게 알맞고 적절하다. Conventions: Advanced: No errors in grammar usage. This includes subject-verb agreement, pronoun-antecedent agreement and consistent verb tense
부모님 위한 한국어 평가문
1. Focus: Prompt가 묻는 것이 무엇인지 주제를 파악하고 있습니다. 많은 학생들이 교사에 대한 묘사에 그쳤는데, 찬율군은 나에게 어떤 영향을 주었는지에 대해서 쓰는 것임을 잘 알고 있습니다. 브2. 대부분 직업의 교사를 생각하는데, 가까운 친구가 가르침을 주었다면 teacher라고 생각하는 brilliant 사고의 유연성이 뛰어납니다. 3. Contents: 두번째 세번째 바디 패러그래프에서 예시가 충분하였습니다. 첫번째 바디 패러그래프에서 보충이 된다면 4점을 모두 받았을 것입니다. 4. 구조는 대부분 훌륭했습니다. Thesis Statement를 왜 쓰고 어떻게 쓰는지 어디에 쓰는지에 대한 개념이 만족스럽게 잡혔습니다. 5. 모든 문장들이 full sentences입니다. 스펠링(철자)도 완벽합니다. 6. 성실하게 9주를 채운것이 너무나 훌륭합니다. 7. 찬율군이 수업시간중에 이 클래스에 대해 다음과 같이 평하였습니다: BICA is great because it teaches you skills that you can find nowhere else. Mrs. Rah gives you personal feedback, which is not something they do in schools.